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Greg

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“
We're all running on God's time, God's plan. Hey, I'm-- I'm on the clock here, too. Ehh, gonna run out, soon. [chuckles]
— Greg to Lola and Milo after their drinking game (determinant)
 ”


Greg is a character in Afterparty. If Lola and Milo choose to pursue Fela in hopes of a ticket to Satan's party, he is the one of the three humans they can interrogate and accuse of having snuck into Hell at the Feisty's in Bobolyne Park, the others being Eliza and Pete.

Personality[]

Greg is a lonely, depressed man, having little-to-no contact with his remaining family and awaiting his inevitable death due to his medical condition. He considers the paramedics who save him from his overdoses to be the closest thing he has to friends, "even if they're being paid to save [him]."

During his trips to Hell, Greg becomes more confident in speaking to others and takes advantage of his new body; he begins to indulge in drinking heavily more often, as his medication prevents him from doing so in real life. Greg is a shaky liar, occasionally stuttering through his grand fabrications of his past life to Hell's inhabitants.

Appearance[]

Greg has short, brown hair and wears a white deep v-neck, a grey suit jacket with a blue collar, grey slacks, and grey shoes.

Background[]

Greg was born with a musculoskeletal disease which, according to his doctor, Dr. Slater, is projected to eventually kill him at age thirty three. As he grew older, Greg grew distant from his mother and sisters, leaving calls from the former unanswered and cutting off contact entirely with the latter.

At some point, Greg discovered that he could travel to Hell early by overdosing on his medical prescriptions, and began doing so regularly in order to become accustomed to the area while depending on his paramedics to bring him back each time.

Fabricated[]

While in the underworld, Greg invented a false life story in order to both go undetected by campus authorities and impress others, in which he is the "unquestioned Grand Emperor of Earth". In the past, Greg's friends Han, Indiana, and Richard Kimble were arrested by the former Grand Emperor, Dick Deckard; however, following the passing of an anti-gerrymandering law, Greg won the following election by an overwhelming number of votes and banished Deckard to Dinotopia. Greg's duties as "Grand Sovereign of Terra Firma" included defending humanity from plagues by directing disease research. He remains nearly undefeated at Hell's stacking drinking game, only having been defeated once by a "blacksmith who cheated his knights".

Though he was popular enough to receive daily flowers and lines of biographical movies, novels, and children's toy lines, Greg was born with a musculoskeletal disease that turned him a bitter and selfish ruler. This would eventually lead to his death and sentencing to Hell at age thirty three. Despite this, Greg says that his sister always told him, "You don't deserve anything in life but the ability to complain."

Plot[]

If Milo and Lola choose to pursue Fela for an invitation to Satan's party instead of Lynda, they will be assigned by him to infiltrate a bachelor's party at Feisty's to search for a human who's snuck into Hell. They can find Greg lying about his past to a drunken Eliza and a female demon named Rakshasas. After Milo and Lola question Greg and speak with Eliza, Rakshasas decides to teleport away, causing the remaining two to begin heading home. As Lola doesn't want them to separate while still in Hell, Milo must choose to pursue either Greg or Eliza.

If they decide to speak with Greg, he offers to play a drinking game with them; Lola and Milo accept, hoping that he'll become inebriated enough to reveal the truth. After playing one or more rounds of Ladder to God, Greg drunkenly reveals his past and asks for them to not turn him in to campus security.

Afterwards, Lola and Milo must choose to accuse either Greg, Eliza, or Pete of being the human who snuck into Hell to Fela. If they accuse Greg, he is angrily escorted out of the bar by two security demons while yelling at Milo and Lola. According to Fela, he is doomed to be sentenced to the Ninth Circle, where he will be hacked into infinite pieces by multi-limbed, feathered serpents for eternity.

If Milo and Lola didn't choose Greg, while meeting up with Fela at Satan's party, Fela informs them that it was discovered he had arrested the wrong person while the right person "took a shit in the school pond." If they chose Greg, Wormhorn tells Milo and Lola before they leave the island that he would "never see his friends, family, or help solve the world's energy crisis."

Relationships[]

  • Rakshasas - Greg appears to be attracted towards the demon and attempts to impress her by lying about his past. After she rejects his offer to leave with him and teleports away, Greg immediately decides to ditch the remaining three and head home.

Quotes[]

Lola: "Uh huh, so... why would the "Emperor of Earth" end up in Hell? Surely, the people considered you a wise and benevolent ruler..."
Greg: "Oh, they did, definitely, they'd throw flowers at my feet-- even on Valentine's Day when flowers are expensive, but, uh... a musculoskeletal disease turned me bitter and... selfish, I guess. I lost the fight with it at thirty three."
Milo: "Oh. Uh, sorry."
Greg: "Don't be. My sister always said, "You don't deserve anything in life but the ability to complain.""
— Lola, Milo, and Greg. (determinant)
Greg: "Man, it's gotten really loud over here, Rakshasas, do you wanna maybe go somewhere a little more--"
Rakshasas: "I'm good. It was nice meeting you. [teleports away]"
Greg: "God dammit. Well... that's my cue, losers. See you on the flip side."
— Greg and Rakshasas. (determinant)
"Look, I'm at the point of the evening where I'm either getting on the expressway to drunken idiocy land-- or I'm taking the slow boat to my apartment filled with human-sized cockroaches that watch bad sitcoms in the common area all night. So, if... I dunno-- you wanna play, like, a drinking game or something--"
— Greg to Lola while being questioned. (determinant)
""Musculoskeletal--" yeah, yeah, that's how Dr. Slater, uh-- that's how she said it. Pronounced every syllable. But whatever, man, whatever-- we've all got a fucking hourglass over our heads, y'know-- We're all running on God's time, God's plan. Hey, I'm-- I'm on the clock here, too. Ehh, gonna run out, soon. [chuckles]"
— Greg to Lola after the drinking game. (determinant)
"I got a-- I gotta confession to make. I'm not thirty three. I'm twenty nine. But I know I'm, like, dead at thirty three. Like Christ. And the fat guy from Blues Brothers. That's what Dr. Slater said. And-- and I know I'm goin' to Hell, you know, I-- you don't go to the other fuckin' place by being a pain in the ass like I've been. I never call my Mom back, and-- and I don't even talk to my sisters. They don't deserve that, right? But I-- I like to test the waters by ODing on my prescriptions every once in a while. Just to see what the long haul here will-- will be like. They always-- they always bring me back. It's not as hard as it looks. You just gotta-- gotta measure it out."
— Greg to Lola after the drinking game. (determinant)
"Yeah... I guess I-- I guess I should be gettin' back. The paramedics are probably kickin' down my door as we-- as we speak. It's nice to have-- to have friends. Even if they're being paid to save me."
— Greg to Lola after being told to escape upon winning the drinking competition. (determinant)

Trivia[]

  • Greg's identity as the person who snuck into Hell is foreshadowed by Barry, who will say "Yahh--Nice to meet you Greg!" upon Lola's third time pulling a dart out of his body.
  • Greg appears to be a fan of actor Harrison Ford, whose roles of Indiana Jones, Han Solo from Star Wars, Dr. Richard Kimble from The Fugitive, and Rick Deckard from Blade Runner are all namedropped in his improvised life story.
  • If Lola lost the drinking competition and tells Greg to escape, he reveals that he used to go to church but stopped due to being tired of "[hearing] all about how [he's] disappointing [their] Savior."

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